


Save Me

by SteebRogurz



Series: Save Me [1]
Category: Avengers, MCU, Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-07-25 14:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteebRogurz/pseuds/SteebRogurz
Summary: Bucky comes to your rescue during a fight with your boyfriend.Warnings: abuse, pregnancy, abortion,





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think I always love reading your thoughts and feedback :)

My heart is racing in my chest as I sit in the corner booth of a cafe waiting for Alex to arrive. A steaming mug of tea and a muffin sit on the table in front of me but the thought of eating anything makes my stomach churn. Every time the door opens I look up to see if he’s here and I get a little bit more on edge when it’s not him. After about five more minutes I pull out my phone to text him and ask if he’s close when someone slides into the booth opposite me with a tight smile on his face.

“Hey, what’s going on? Your text said it was urgent,” Alex sits across from me shrugging off his light fall jacket. I take a moment to examine him. Sunglasses hang off the collar of his favourite band t-shirt. Locks of wavy blond hair fall into his eyes and he brings his hand up to push them back and he looks at me with a slightly worried expression.

We met on tinder and while I knew right from the start that we weren’t as compatible as either of us had hoped the sex was good so I agreed to a second date. Two months later we were still seeing each other.

My hands start to pull apart the muffin if only for something to do to distract me from my nerves. I open my mouth to try and talk but my throat closes around the words and I have to clear my throat to try again. “So I’m not exactly sure if there’s an easy way to say this so I’m just gonna say it,” I take a deep breath to steel myself and prepare for any kind of reaction. “I’m pregnant,” my voice wavers a bit as I say the two words I never thought I’d have to say and I watch for his reaction.

His worried expression changes to confusion. “How? We’ve always used a condom.”

  
“Well, condoms aren’t 100% effective.”

“Are you sure? Like, are you absolutely certain?”

I nod solemnly. “I mean I’m about a week late and I have a positive pregnancy test from this morning in my garbage so, yeah, I’m pretty certain.”

We sit in silence for a few more seconds as he digests the news. I was prepared for panic, frantic googling of what to do after getting pregnant, I even prepared myself for him to just get up and leave but I admit what happens next is not something I was expecting. A big smile slowly spreads across his face and his eyes light up. “This is amazing!” Alex pulls out his phone and starts typing rapidly. “Ok, there’s a lot we’ll need to do before the baby comes, but first thing’s first, you need to meet my parents. My mom will be so happy she’s been hinting at grandchildren for a while now.” He chuckles to himself and continues to talk about baby showers, whether we should find a new apartment together or if I should just move in with him, completely unaware of my own stunned and panicked expression.

“Alex,” I voice cracks as I say his name, he doesn’t hear me so I try again. This time I reach out and push his phone down forcing him to look at me. “Alex, stop.”

He stops talking and gives me a puzzled look. “What?”

“I’m not keeping the baby,” I say as firmly as I can. “I’m only telling you so you can, I don’t know, come with me, maybe.”

His smile disappears from his face and I can see shock and anger spark in his hazel eyes. “What do you mean you’re not keeping the baby?!” He demands. “You can’t do that! Don’t you need my consent or something?” His voice climbs in volume and I’m suddenly very aware of the other people around us.

“Keep your voice down,“ I plead looking around to see if we’ve caught anyone’s attention. “And I don’t need your consent but I’d be nice if I had your support but if you can’t give me that then we should just end things now and get on with our lives. I’ll do this by myself if I have to.” I grab my purse and sweater as I slide out of the booth, leaving the torn up muffin and untouched tea behind me.

I shoulder my purse and move to walk past him towards the door but he reaches out and grabs my wrist to stop me from leaving. “You can’t do this!” He growls at me and fear suddenly licks up my spine. I’ve never seen him like this. Admittedly, we never really had a chance to get to know each other past the sex. “I won’t let you kill my baby.”

**“You don’t get a say in this.”** I try to keep my voice steady as I attempt to pull my wrist from his grip but he squeezes harder. “Let go, Alex, you’re hurting me.” I can feel tears well up in my eyes but I blink them back refusing to cry in front of him.

“No.” I can hear the rage in his voice. He grabs his jacket with his other hand and quickly stands up. I have to stumble back to avoid him stepping on me but I can’t get very far because his hand is still wrapped painfully around my wrist. He heads for the door, pulling me with him and I struggle to break free without causing too much of a scene.

I start to panic when he opens the cafe door and pushes me through. My mind is racing a mile a minute; Where is he taking me? Am I being kidnapped? What is he going to do to me? I’ve heard stories of women being beaten or worse for simply saying no a man. The street outside holds a few people window shopping but they’re too far away. I try to plant my feet in the ground to at least slow him down, maybe if I put up some kind of fight he’ll give up and leave. “Alex stop! You can’t do this! You can’t force me to have this baby.”

He stops in his tracks and whirls around to face me, the rage still his eyes. He brings his other hand up and I think for a terrifying second that he’s going to hit me, instead he grips my chin holding me still and forcing me to look at him. “I’m not making you to do anything, you’re not thinking straight and you just need time to think about this and bond with the baby.” I try to open my mouth to say something else but he just talks over me. “We can be a family, we can be happy.” I can see a spark of hope in his eyes behind the rage.

“Hey!” Someone shouts behind me but Alex doesn’t move, either not hearing the person or assuming they’re yelling at someone else. They yell again, closer this time.

“Hey!” A large, gloved, hand comes into view and grips Alex’s shoulder to get his attention. Alex releases my chin but still holds firm on my wrist that’s starting to lose feeling. We both look over to see a brick wall of a man standing before us. The man looks like he lives at the gym. He’s wearing a black bomber jacket but it’s clear that he’s very muscular. He looks vaguely familiar with his chestnut brown hair pulled back into a bun and his piercing blue eyes staring Alex down but I can’t seem to place it. “Let her go.” He speaks calmly in a low voice but his tone is deadly serious.

Alex squares his shoulders and draws himself up to his fullest height. I can see from where I am that he’s a couple inches shorter than the man but that doesn’t seem to deter him. “This is none of your business, asshole. This is between me and her.”

The man turns to me instead, his eyes soften as they meet mine. “Ma'am are you ok?” his tone is gentle and soothing as if he were approaching a panicked animal, which I guess I am at the moment. I look between the two men not wanting to make things worse but also wanting to get as far away from Alex as possible. I look down at my shoes and shake my head.

Alex scoffs and lets go of me with so much force that my hand swings back and smacks me in the thigh. I clutch my hand to my chest and take a few steps away from him partially hiding myself behind the man. Alex is glaring daggers at me and jabs a finger in my direction. “You know what, fine. Do whatever the fuck you want but just keep in mind you’re murdering an innocent baby.”

I stare after him as he turns and stalks off, shoulders hunched and fists clenched at his sides. As soon as he’s out of sight there’s nothing to stop the tears from falling and I break down sobbing in relief. A hand gently touches my elbow and I jump in surprise remembering the man is still standing with me. “Thank you,” I choke out between sobs.

The man offers a reassuring smile. “Don’t mention it.”

I manage to get a hold of myself and stop crying enough to smile back. “Can I buy you a coffee or something? I left my tea at that cafe over there and now I’m really regretting it. Besides it’s the least I can do after you probably just saved my life.”

The man hesitates but after a second his smile widens and he nods. “Sure.”

I turn to walk back to the cafe and he falls in step beside me. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

He hesitates again and I look over at him, his hands are in his pockets and he’s staring at the ground as we walk. I can’t shake the feeling that I know him from somewhere and I’m hoping that maybe if I know his name it’ll spark something. “I’m… James.” No such luck.

We enter the cafe and I quickly glance at the table I was sitting in not ten minutes ago. It’s already been cleared and I’m not sure what I expected, I definitely would have gotten a few stares if I just sat at a table to started drinking a tea that was just sitting there even if was mine to begin with. So we stand at the counter and I order again, forgoing the muffin this time. He orders the same kind of tea as me and I can’t help but stare in surprise. Again, I don’t know what I expected.

Once seated, him sitting across from me, we both sip at our tea in silence. I cast furtive glances at him still trying to figure out where I know him from. But before I can ask, he looks at me with his piercing blue eyes cutting off any thought in my head.

“Can I ask what that was all about back there?” The curiosity is plain in his voice and on his face but I can tell that he won’t push it if I refuse to tell him.

I scoff and stare into my tea watching the ripples as I drum the sides with my fingers. The fight with Alex already feels like a distant memory or a bad dream but the bruise forming around my wrist is a clear reminder of everything that just happened. “I’m pregnant and as I’m sure you can guess he wants me to have the baby. I don’t.” I shiver as my thoughts go back to fight and I wrap my hands around the cup taking comfort in the warmth. “And if you hadn’t stopped him-” I can feel tears sting in my eyes again but they don’t fall. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

James suddenly reaches across the table and gently places a warm hand on my arm and I freeze. My blood runs cold and I stare at his hand as panic rises in my chest, clouding my head. Somewhere deep in my mind I note that he’s wearing gloves, maybe he’s a germaphobe. He quickly retracts his hand looking away as he does. “Sorry.”

I shake my head to clear my mind and focus. “It’s- it’s fine.” I give him a weak smile and shift in my seat feeling a sense of restlessness. I watch as he focuses on anything but me, he picks an invisible piece of lint from his jacket, he checks his phone, and I decide I’m done talking about me. “have we met before?” I ask tilting my head to the side as I try to think of where I’ve seen him before.

James regards me with confusion and surprise. “Um- no I don’t think so,” he starts to look around the cafe as if he’s about to run. His phone starts to ring. “Shit, sorry one sec. Hey Steve- yeah, sorry I…forgot. I’m nearby, at The Postmark cafe in Brooklyn right now but I can be there in about fifteen minutes.“ He hangs up and puts his phone face down on the table. “Sorry about that, I had lunch plans with a friend that I’m now late for. I should get going but I just wanna make sure you’re ok, I can cancel and stick around if you think he’ll be back.”

I keep my eyes on him, watching as he talks to the person on the phone. I could swear I’ve seen him before and the clue that his friend’s name is Steve pushes him closer to the front of my mind but I still can’t quite put my finger on it. “No I think I’ll be ok. Are you sure we haven’t met? You just look so familiar but I can’t quite place it.” I squint my eyes at him as if that’ll help.

He clenches his jaw and his eyes go wide as something behind me catches his attention.

“Buck, we made these plans two hours ago how could you forget already?”

I turn around and feel my jaw drop as a man I never thought I’d see in person makes his way towards us. I stare wide-eyed when he comes to stand at our table.

“Although, now it all makes sense. Hi, I’m Steve Rogers.” He holds his hand to me and as though in slow-motion I reach out to shake his hand.

“Y/N” I say glancing between Steve and James…or Buck. Wait. Suddenly it clicks. I let go of Steve’s hand and turn to face James head on. “You’re James Barnes!” I sit there starstruck as he silently nods looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Wow, I never thought an actual Avenger would be coming to my personal rescue today.”

“Rescue?” Steve’s brows furrow together as he looks between us. He crosses his arms across his chest and I have to tear my eyes away from his biceps.

I reflexively touch my bruised wrist. “I had a… disagreement with my ex. Luckily James stopped things from getting worse,” I meet James’s gaze and my heart flutters in my chest. “So I offered to buy him a tea to say thanks. But I should get going, there’s something I need to do.” James gives me a knowing nod and I push myself away from the table bending down to pick up my purse and tea. “Sorry for interrupting your plans and thank you again, James.”

James quickly scribbles something down on a napkin before standing up with me. “Here’s my number if you need anything,” he says holding out the folded napkin with a small smile on his lips. “And you can call me Bucky.”

I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as I reach for the napkin and heat spreads across my face when I meet his eyes. “Okay Bucky, I’ll see you around…maybe.” I quickly turn and head for the door then remember that Steve is still standing there watching everything. “It was nice meeting you Steve!” I call over my shoulder before practically running for the door without waiting for a reply.

**********************Bucky*************************

I watch Y/N’s retreating form until she’s out of sight and turn to Steve. He’s got that stupid smirk on his face and I glare at him. “What?” I cross my arms defensively.

“She’s cute,” Steve smiles wider and I have to resist the urge to smack it right off his face.

Instead I just roll my eyes and move around him towards the same door Y/N just walked through. “Shut up, I only prevented her from getting hurt. Are we goin’ or what?” I turn back around to see Steve is still standing at the table regarding me with a knowing look. He’s right though, she was cute and I might’ve asked her to dinner but in light of what I witnessed earlier with her ex-boyfriend…and the pregnancy she has enough on her plate at the moment.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t say anything else on the matter and I’m forever grateful that Sam isn’t with us or I wouldn’t be hearing the end of it. We walk a few blocks west towards the restaurant we planned on for lunch and are seated shortly after.

We talk about nothing of importance mostly schedules and various missions Steve is set to go on when my phone rings for the second time today. I glance at the screen and it only says unknown number. Normally I don’t answer calls when I’m with someone but my gut is telling me that this is something I need to answer, so I apologize to Steve and answer the phone.

“Hello?”

_“Bucky? It’s- it’s Y/N. I’m really sorry about this I know you have plans but I might need you to save me again.”_ Her voice warbles as if she’s trying not to cry.

“Y/N? Are you ok? What happened?” Dread settles in the pit of my stomach as she speaks. Did her ex find her after she left? I look up at Steve and see my thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

_“Yeah nothing’s happened it’s just that there’s a crowd outside the clinic yelling at people trying to get in and that’s not really something I want to deal with alone right now.”_

Without saying a word, Steve nods to me and I know he’s telling me to go. I nod back and mouth sorry before jumping out of my seat and making my way to the exit. “Where are you? I’m on my way.”

***************************Y/N******************************

I don’t have to wait long for Bucky to show up, and he’s not hard to miss. Being six feet tall and built like a tank everyone seems to just move out of his way. He finds me sitting on the curb of a side street out of view of the crowd and looks me up and down looking for any injuries I suspect. I find his concern endearing.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I say when he reaches me. My eyes sting from the unshed tears still clinging to my lashes. _You’re weak._ The thought flashes through my head and I hiccup trying to keep my nerves in check. “You probably have stuff to do today and here I am asking you to hold my hand through this.” I try to joke to cover the fact that deep down I’m terrified.

Bucky immediately places his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I thought I could do this on my own but apparently not and I didn’t really know who else I could call.” I sniffle and take a deep breath to steady myself. “Okay I’m ready if you are.” I turn towards the clinic a d clench my fists to help me focus on putting one foot in front of the other

Bucky nods falling into step beside me. I hold my head high as we walk towards the crowd feeling emboldened by his presence, but as we get closer I start to shrink into his side and I bow my head to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Someone shouts something to me and feel a strong arm wrap around my shoulders protectively. I glance up and I see Bucky glaring at anyone who dares to approach us.

We reach the door without any major incident and quickly walk into the reception and waiting room of the clinic. The white walls give me a sense of both unease and comfort as I step up to the front desk and I’m greeted by a smiling nurse.

“Hey there. Sorry about the crowd outside, I hope they didn’t give too much trouble. What can we do for you today.”

“Um, hi. I have an appointment for an ab-” I falter and try again. “An abortion,” I whisper the words as if they would offend the people around me. I take a moment to look around to see if anyone heard me but everyone in the waiting room is either too far away or too preoccupied with their own issues to pay any attention to me.

The nurse asks for my health card and types something into the computer. “Okay, fill this out and we’ll call you when we’re ready for you.”

I quietly sit in one of the chairs to fill out the forms and out of the corner of my eye I see Bucky sit in the chair beside me. At first I’m confused then I realize that he’s probably planning on waiting with me. I feel a pang in my heart at the realization and turn to face him. “Look I don’t want you to waste your whole day here with me, you’ve already done a lot for me and I don’t think I could ever repay you, but you don’t have to stay this might take a while.” I can feel my heart race when he turns his blue gaze on me. There’s a sincerity in his eyes that I haven’t seen from a person in a long time and my heart skips a beat.

“I’m not going anywhere. I want to make sure you’re alright.”

I can’t help the smile that appears on my face or the blush that creeps up my cheeks at his words. “Oh, ok thank you,” I look down at the form I’ve finished filling out and stand to hand it back to the nurse. When I sit back down Bucky is still watching me and I feel as if he’s worried I might pass out or get sick or something. We lapse into a slightly awkward silence as we sit waiting for the doctor.

When my name is finally called I’m relieved to have something else to focus on other than the silence between me and Bucky, but at the same time I’m reluctant to leave his side afraid of what might happen if he isn’t there to save me one more time.

Sensing my nerves he takes hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “It’s going to be ok.”

The warmth of his hand shocks me into moving. Without letting go of his hand I stand up from the chair and take a few steps towards the nurse, who is now holding a door to the rest of the facility open for me. Bucky doesn’t stand with me and with one last look behind me and an encouraging nod from him I let go of his hand and follow the nurse through the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

I don’t know how much time has passed when I wake up in a bed covered by a thin blanket, but judging by the orange light streaming through the window I'm assuming at least a few hours. I slowly move my legs and try to sit up flinching at the dull throb in my abdomen. “Ow.” I bring my hand to my stomach and squeeze my eyes shut against the pain.

“Hey, take it easy sweetheart,” a voice sounds at my side and I jump flinching again. “The nurse said you might feel some pain for the next couple hours.”

I look over to see Bucky sitting in a chair beside me. “You stayed,” I look around and note that none of the other beds in the room have chairs which leads me to assume he brought his own chair, from the waiting room most likely, to sit by my side. I wonder what he told them to allow him in here.

A kind smile spreads across his face. “Of course. I told you, I'm not going anywhere.” 

My eyes start to water for probably the fourth time today,  _ probably from the hormones _ . Before I can say anything else the doctor comes around and checks my chart. 

"Alright Y/N, everything went well. You will feel cramping for the next couple of hours and possibly a few days after. That's all normal. Here is a prescription for antibiotics, I want you to take these twice a day with food to avoid infection." He hands me a slip of paper. 

I nod along as he talks about other possible side effects and tells me I can go. I heave a deep sigh of relief when the doctor leaves and I slowly sit up in the bed. 

Bucky watches me as I move leaning forward ready to jump in to help if I need it but giving me the space to do things on my own first. "How are you feeling?" He holds his hand out to me to help me to my feet. 

I bring my hand to my abdomen again and frown. "Empty," I look up at him. "Is that weird? Like, I don't physically feel any different but I'm very aware that I’m not pregnant anymore." I feel a pang of sadness when I think of that fact and for a split second I start to worry if I made a mistake getting the abortion, but then the bruise left by Alex catches my eye and I'm reminded of I would have to deal with if I hadn't done this. I let my hand drop and move to pick up my clothes that are sitting at the end of the bed and pull the curtain closed to change. "I'm hungry too," I say when I open the curtain and with the thought that I haven't eaten anything today.

"Wanna get a slice of pizza?" He looks at me with such a genuine expression that I stare at him in shock for a second. 

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure." My brain stutters back to life again and I barely catch the smile that spreads across his face before he hides it behind his hand. 

"Great. I know a really good place close by," he smiles again, not bothering to hide it this time and picks up the chair. "I should bring this back." 

I'm reminded of the fact that he probably wasn't allowed in here. He follows behind me as I slowly make my way back towards the waiting room. When we get back outside I'm relieved to see that the crowd from before has dissipated a little, but Bucky still angles himself between me and the crowd and rests a protective arm around my shoulders. 

I lean into his side as we walk until we're around the corner and I can't help but feel a little disappointed when he lets his arm drop and takes a step away to give me some space. "It's this way," he beckons me forward leading us down the street towards a small pizza shop that looks warm and full of love. 

The shop is bright when we step inside and we're greeted with wide smiles and a hug for Bucky from an older man. "This little shop was mine and Steve's favourite place back in the 40's," he explains. "I knew Richard when he was just a kid playing with toys in the corner over there." 

The older man grins, "and now I run the place. It's good to see you James, what can I get for you two?"

"We'll share a large pepperoni...if that's ok with you." He adds quickly looking at me and I nod.

"Coming right up!" Richard thumps Bucky once on the back before disappearing behind the counter. We sit at a nearby table and the waitress brings out two glasses of water for us.

“This was the first place I came when I was well enough to come back,” he reminisces with a far away look on his face. “It was nice to see it still standing and it’s hardly changed.”

I take the time to look at the decor around me. The tables are covered with red and white checkered tablecloths and the walls are covered with pieces of art and photos of Italy, and soft music filters around us from the speakers spread out over the room. Out of the corner of my eye I can see that Bucky is now watching me with an amused smile on his face. I pretend not to notice...until I can’t anymore. "What?" I finally ask, as a blush that blooms on my cheeks. 

He watches me for another second before speaking. "I wanna know why you didn't recognize me at first," he cocks his head to the side. "I mean I'm not upset or anything but you recognized Steve immediately so I'm just curious." 

I shrug and look down at the napkin I’m currently ripping to shreds. "Well, I mean, there's photos of Captain America everywhere, posters, comic books, lunch boxes, my niece's bedroom walls." I chuckle at the thought of how excited she'd be if she knew I just met him. "But most of the photos we get of you are on the news, which are blurry as fuck. And I don't read tabloid magazines." 

Bucky bobs his head in understanding, a thoughtful look crosses his features. "And besides you were wearing gloves before, that arm is a dead giveaway." He had taken his gloves off when we sat down and I glance down at his hands folded in front of him. 

He laughs and my heart skips a beat at the sound. "Yeah, that's fair," he's handsome, almost too handsome, but when he laughs there's a vulnerability to him that makes him seem more alive. It reminds me that he's real and not just a fantasy my mind made up. 

Silence settles over us again but it's not the awkward silence from the clinic. This feels comfortable and natural, we're just two people enjoying each other's company. The waitress returns then with the pizza and couple plates for us. We thank her and she gives us a wide smile as she glances between the two of us. "You guys make a really cute couple by the way," when her words register I look up at her in shock.

"What? Oh, no we're not- we're not together. He's just helping me with some stuff. We only met today actually," My blush returns and I glance over at Bucky expecting to see him equally as shocked but he just sits there watching everything unfold, seemingly amused by my floundering. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, you just seem comfortable with each other, I assumed you were on a date." She gives an awkward laugh before turning to leave. Bucky leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. 

"Is the thought of dating me really that bad?" He teases and his smile grows at my reaction. 

"Oh my God! No, I'm so sorry. I just- I panicked. Sorry."  _ He's enjoying this, _ I think to myself and I scramble to think of something,  _ anything _ , to move past this feeling of wanting to literally disappear off the face of the face of the earth. "Well, now that I've sufficiently embarrassed myself, thank you again for staying with me," I keep my eyes on the slice of pizza in my hand, afraid to meet his eye. 

There's a pause and I force myself to look at him, he’s leaning forward again his amused smile turned serious. "You don't have to keep thanking me," he regards me with a gentle look in his blue eyes. "I'm just doing what any good person would do." He shrugs and takes a bite of his own slice.

"I don't know about that, not many people would wait hours at a clinic for someone they don't even know, let alone at their bedside." My curiosity from earlier returns and I tilt my head. "By the way, what did you say to get them to let you in?" 

Bucky freezes mid-bite and chews slowly as if stalling. He swallows and wipes his mouth with a napkin. "I, uh, I may have told them you were my girlfriend and that I was worried about you waking up alone and didn't want you to be scared," he pauses before continuing. "I mean, it wasn't a total lie. I know what it's like to wake up in a place you don't know in pain, with no one there to help you, and I didn't want you to feel that." A dark expression crosses his face and I know he's remembering his past and everything he experienced at the hands of HYDRA. I don't know the details but I know what he went through I wouldn't wish on anyone. My heart breaks for him and without thinking I reach across and place my hand on his, hoping it's enough to comfort him like he did for me at the clinic. 

Despite my hunger from earlier I'm only able to eat one slice before my stomach begins to cramp again, so I push the rest towards Bucky which he quickly finishes off. 

We ask the waitress for the bill but she only shakes her head and tells us it's on the house. I look behind her to see Richard smiling at us behind the counter, so instead I give her a generous tip and thank both her and Richard. 

I pull out my phone and pretend to scroll through something if only to have something else to focus on other than Bucky's gorgeous smile and piercing blue eyes. "I should get going." I say reluctantly and Bucky matches my movements as I stand up and head for the door. 

***************Bucky***************

Richard winks at me as I wave goodbye and we both share a knowing smile. I like her. she possesses a quiet strength that I find amazing, and even in her simple jeans and t-shirt outfit paired with an oversized knitted sweater she's beautiful. 

When I step outside behind her I see that she's at the curb looking for a cab. The sun had set a while ago leaving the sky an inky black. I tap Y/N on the shoulder. "Let me give you a ride home." 

She begins to protest but I shake my head and raise my hand to stop her. "Come on, I'm parked back by the clinic you'll get home faster." 

She thinks about it for a second then nods. I begin to walk back the way we came and when she catches up to me she links her arm with mine causing my heart to swell. I look down at her for a second and she's smiling up at me, her eyes shine in the low light as if she held all the starlight that was missing from the sky. She looks even more beautiful. 

We walk like this the rest of the way arm in arm and I feel a pang of disappointment when reach my motorcycle knowing she'll be leaving my side soon. "This is yours?" She asks and I worry that she'll change her mind, but that worry melts away when she steps ahead of me to examine the bike with a look of awe and excitement on her face. "I've always wanted a motorcycle," then her face falls in slight disappointment. "But my parents were always worried I'd get hurt and then I never got around to getting my license when I moved out." 

I chuckle at her excitement and pull the helmet out of the small compartment at the back and hand it to her. 

She looks down at it and frowns. "What about you?" 

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." I wink at her and get on the motorcycle. “Super soldier remember?” and she laughs.

“Oh right, how could I forget.” She swings her leg over the bike and gets herself situated on the seat behind me. She places her hands on either side of my waist but I can feel her hesitation.

I look behind me and she gives me a nervous lopsided smile. “You’re gonna need to hold on tighter than that, sweetheart.” She scoots forward and tightly wraps her arms around my waist pressing her body flush to my back. “You ready?” I ask as the motorcycle roars to life.

“Uh huh,” she nods against my back and I smile to myself before we speed off through the streets of New York with her giving me directions every once in a while. 

Within 15 minutes we’re pulling up to a small house that she tells me she’s renting. Once we’re stopped and I’ve turned off the bike she hops off the bike and laughs. “That was amazing!” she unbuckles the helmet and hands it back to me. “I definitely need get a motorcycle now.” 

The image of her riding her own motorcycle pops into my head and I smile at the thought. “I could teach you if you want.” I offer, hoping I don’t sound too eager to have a reason to see her again. Heat blooms in my chest when she turns her grin on me.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” She looks behind her at her house and heaves a sigh. “Well I better go, thank you again. For everything.” She pauses and chews on her lip as if debating something then steps forward and wraps her arms around me in a hug. Taken by surprise I tentatively wrap my arms around her, after a second we let go and she gives me one last smile before turning to walk up the steps to her house.

***************Y/N***************

I unlock my front door and step through with the biggest, stupidest grin on my face. I couldn’t believe the fight with Alex was something that had happened just this morning, but the bruise on my wrist is still very purple reminding me of the reality that today could’ve ended much worse for me if it wasn’t for Bucky stepping in.

I set down my purse on the bench sitting by the door and I take off my sweater and lay it on the bench beside my purse when a cool breeze wafts over me and a chill runs down my spine.  _ Did I leave a window open somewhere? _ I wonder to myself as I walk into the living room to check. I walk up to the first set of windows to find they are tightly latched and when I look outside I can see Bucky still at the side of the road leaning against his motorcycle. I would wave to him but he’s looking at something else and that’s when I see the flash of something reflected in the window. 

My stomach drops and I slowly turn around to face the opposite wall and reach over to turn on a lamp at my side. My blood freezes in my veins and my heart stops when I see him. Alex. 

He’s sitting on my couch silently watching me, his eyes are red as if he’s been crying, his clothes are rumpled and it looks like one of his sleeves is ripped; from what I don’t know. In one hand he’s holding a half empty bottle of vodka,  _ my _ vodka. And in the other: a knife. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst, abuse, sexual assault, violence, blood,

“What are you doing here, Alex?” I ask but my mouth is suddenly as dry as a desert and my words come out no louder than a whisper.**  
**

“I tried to let you go,” Alex sniffles before taking a swig of vodka, the clear liquid sloshes inside bottle and a few drops dribble down the side. “I tried to forget about you and our baby, but I just couldn’t, Y/N.” 

I wince at the sound of his voice, he’s not yelling but there’s an unhinged edge of anger to it that tightens my chest in fear. “How did you get in here?” I start to slowly back away towards the front hall. _Bucky’s still outside._ I think to myself. _If I can just get to the door he might know something is wrong._ I keep my eyes on Alex, watching as he twirls the knife in his hand. I take another step backwards when he stands up from the couch and turns to face me fully.

“I came in through the back window,” he says twisting his arm to show me the ripped sleeve edged with blood. _That’s where the breeze came from._ Some small part of my brain that isn’t frozen in fear speaks up. He takes another swig of vodka and I decide to use this slight distraction as the opportunity to turn and run for the door. 

I skid around the corner just as the bottle explodes against the wall above me and I duck, covering my head with my arms as I’m showered with vodka and tiny pieces of glass but I never stop moving. I can feel the sting from the tiny cuts forming on my arms but with the adrenaline rushing through me they are nothing more than a pin prick, I have more important things to focus on. 

The door is within reach and for a split second I feel relief, I can get Bucky’s attention and he’ll come in to save me one more time. My hand closes around the doorknob and I turn it, _almost!_ But before I can pull it open Alex is behind me grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanking my head back. I let out a scream in fear and pain before he smashes my head against the door.

My vision blurs and I’m disoriented as pain explodes in my head and I stumble to the side, letting go of the doorknob, but I’m pulled upwards and my back hits his chest. He releases my hair and wraps his arm around shoulders holding me in place while the other presses the edge of the knife against my stomach, I let out a shuddering breath in pain as the knife bites into my skin. “You took my baby from me,” he growls in my ear, his breath is hot and stinks of alcohol. “But you know what? I forgive you. We can just make another one, and then we can be happy together.” Alex buries his face into the side of my neck and inhales deeply through the nose. I squirm in his grasp trying to get away without hurting myself more on the knIfe still held to me. 

“No, please,” I gasp when his words sink in and I realize what he’s about to do to me.

Everything about him, up until this very moment, is sloppy; the way his words slur together, the wild movement of his arms and the few stumbling steps he’s taken but when he slips the knife under the hem of my shirt he’s laser focused and whatever struggles I put up against him freeze as soon as the cold metal touches my skin. The sharp edge easily cuts through the fabric all the way up to the collar and when he’s satisfied with his handiwork he throws the knife to the side then he turns us around to move back into the living room. I don’t know when I started crying but I can feel the tears on my bare chest, and I let out a whimper when one of his hands moves under my bra to cup one of my breasts while the other keeps going down my body to undo the button on my jeans. 

Just then the front door bursts open and I’m whipped around again like a rag doll in a child’s arms as Alex turns to see what’s going on. James Barnes, the Winter soldier, former assassin, Avenger, and my saviour stands in the doorway like the goddamn super hero he is. His chest is heaving and concern, rage, determination and a myriad of other emotions cross his face in the seconds it takes for him to take in the scene before him. “Let her go,” he demands for the second time today.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Alex tightens his grip on me. “Did you follow her here?” He looks between me and Bucky seemingly trying to piece something together. 

Bucky takes a step forward focusing his gaze on me. “Y/N you’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you out of here,” my lip quivers and I manage to nod but Alex keeps moving us backwards away from Bucky who raises his hands in surrender, a sign that he’s not going to fight Alex if he can avoid it. “You don’t have to do this. Let her go and you can walk outta here.” 

Alex brings a hand up to grip my throat and squeezes. He keeps his hold loose enough that I can still breath but barely. _This is a threat_. “You fucked her didn’t you! Is that right Y/N? You killed my baby and then you moved on to the next fucking asshole who breathes your way? You fucking slut!” 

Tears are streaming down my face and I shake my head. “No,” it’s all I can say before his grip tightens more cutting off my air completely. I can hear Bucky shout something but I’m too focused on trying to breathe. A second later I’m thrown to the side and I trip over a side table hitting the floor. He spits at me and I scramble to get as far away from him as possible until my back hits the wall behind me. I hear a crash and a few grunts, then silence.

After a few more seconds a shadow falls over me and I cower further against the wall. “Please stop.” I whisper, unable to do much more than that.

“Y/N, it’s me, it’s Bucky. You’re okay, I won’t hurt you.” His voice is gentle and I lower my arms to look over and see Alex sprawled out in the middle of my living room floor unconscious and bleeding. 

I hiccup and begin to sob uncontrollably. Bucky’s hand gently cups my face but I pull away and try to hide myself from the world. He pulls back but doesn’t let me leave his sight. “Hey, you’re okay, I’m not going to hurt you. But can you look at me, Y/N? Your head is bleeding and I need to check it out.” 

He doesn’t touch me again and I slowly lower my arms away from my face to look at him. His jaw clenches and a spark of rage flickers in his eyes as he examines me. The adrenaline in my veins begins to dissipate and I become aware of the dull pain in my forehead above my right eye. “It doesn’t look too bad but you’re gonna need stitches.” His eyes roam my face then move down my body, looking for more injuries and his gaze rests on the cut on my abdomen left from the knife. He quickly looks away and shrugs off his jacket draping it over my shaking shoulders. 

I wrap the soft fabric around my body, holding it tight against my skin as if that alone could protect me from what just happened, however the faint scent of his cologne does help to calm me enough to stop sobbing. “Come on, let’s get you out of here and I’ll fix this.” Bucky very gingerly wraps an arm around my waist to help me to my feet and I don’t shy away this time. Instead I lean against his side for support as he walks me through the door and sits me down on my front steps. “I’ll be right back,” he says before disappearing into my house again and I’m left to sit alone with my thoughts.

This is definitely not how I was expecting the day to go, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy with the abortion and everything but the fact that being assaulted in my own home is my reality is a hard to believe. 

I sniffle and raise my arm to wipe at my nose but stop to examine the small cuts. Most of them are more scratches than anything but there’s one that has a small piece of glass half sticking out. Without thinking I pinch it between my thumb and index finger and gingerly pull it out. I suck in a breath through my teeth as the shard slides out and throw it to the ground. 

A minute later Bucky returns with a clean washcloth holding his phone to his ear. “-yeah, bring the car. Thanks Steve.” He hangs up and sits down next to me gently pressing the cloth to my forehead. “Steve will be here in a bit and I’ll take you to the hospital." 

"I don’t want to go to the hospital.” I speak up staring into the distance at nothing in particular. I know that I’d be waiting for hours to be seen and once they get to me I’d be asked all kinds of questions that I’m not ready to answer. 

“Doll, you need stitches, and you should probably be checked out for a concussion.” He gently brushes the hair from my face and I turn to fix him with a glare as anger sparks in my chest. 

“I don’t want to go to the hospital.” I repeat firmly.

Bucky exhales through his nose and nods. “Okay, no hospital. But I’m taking you to the compound and I’ll do it there myself.” The wind picks up and I hug the jacket closer to block out the chill. “Are you cold? I can get you a blanket." 

I only shake my head and go back to staring at nothing, willing myself not to cry again, I’ve done enough of that today. We sit in silence until Steve pulls up to the curb behind Bucky’s bike. He jumps out and Bucky stands to meet him at the end of my walkway. I watch their conversation in silence, Steve glances past Bucky at me his jaw set and nostrils flaring in anger. Bucky hands him something and he nods moving past him towards the house. I track Steve’s movements as he walks past me through the door and into my house. 

Bucky returns to my side and helps me back to my feet. "C'mon doll, time to go.” He leads down the walkway and the few feet from the stairs to the car seem like miles as my legs shake beneath me, and it feels like an eternity has passed when we reach the car and Bucky helps me slide into the front passenger seat. He gently closes the door and gets behind the wheel.

“What about Steve?” I ask once we’re moving and Bucky looks over to where I’m curled up on the seat. I can see the muscles in his jaw jump as he clenches his teeth, I don’t know exactly what I look like but judging by his reaction every time he looks at me it must be bad. 

“He’ll take my bike once he’s done dealing with your ex,” he turns to face the road again and I close my eyes resting my head on the seat. I suddenly feel a wave of exhaustion rush through my body, my limbs feel ten pounds heavier. 

“What’s he going to do?” I open my eyes again to look at him. Alex can’t be arrested since I’m the only evidence of what he’s done and Captain America isn’t the type to kill a civilian, even if that civilian is an abusive rapist who deserves it a thousand times over. 

“Don’t worry about that Y/N,” he looks over at me again softer this time. “All you need to know is that he won’t be a danger to you anymore. I will do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t hurt you ever again, I promise.” Bucky reaches over and cups my cheek, this small gesture eases some of the tension in my shoulders and I heave a shuddering sigh of relief at the feel of his skin on mine. “Go to sleep, doll, we’ll be there in a bit.” Before he finishes speaking I’ve already closed my eyes and drifting in and out of a restless sleep

I jerk awake when the car rolls to a stop and in my groggy state I look out the window to see a large building with a giant A on the side. “Are we- ah!” I scrub at my face momentarily forgetting about the cut on my forehead. I bring my hand away to find fresh blood coating my fingers.

“Shit,” Bucky picks up the cloth and presses it to my head again. “Hold that.” 

I do as he says opening the door and in a flash Bucky is at my side with his arm around my waist. Even though I can walk on my own I don’t say anything because the only place I feel safe right now is at his side, tucked under his arm where no one can hurt me.

“Welcome to the Avengers compound.” Bucky announces as we walk through the front door. He takes me up a flight of stairs into a bathroom off to the side and motions for me to sit on the toilet. He begins to open all the cupboards looking for something but from his increasing frustration he isn’t finding it.

“This whole place is supposed to be up to date on everything. Stark built this place to have everything we would ever need except a first aid kit apparently,” he mutters to himself. When he’s searched every inch of the bathroom he sticks his head out of the door and shouts into the building. “Sam! I need a first aid kit!”

I hear someone shout back and Bucky turns back to kneel in front of me. He reaches up and pulls the cloth from my hand and brushes the hair away from my forehead to get a better look. His eyes roam over my face for a second before meeting my eye and he smiles. “How are ya doing?”

I shrug and look away. _Is he serious?_ “Considering everything that I’ve been through today? Fucking fantastic!” I give him the thumbs up and Bucky chuckles at my sarcasm.

“Sorry, that was a dumb question.” 

Just then the door opens and someone walks in holding a white box. “Hey man, here’s the first aid- oh sorry. Oh!” The man hands Bucky the box and stops short when he sees me, I quickly turn my head to hide the worst of my face, even though I know he’s already seen it, as Bucky stands to talk to him at the door. “Dude, what the hell happened? Is she ok?” I can hear the concern in his voice and I clench my fist in anger. I understand the concern that comes from seeing someone with injuries like this but at the same time I can’t help but feel like I’ve been reduced to nothing but a victim who is incapable of saving herself, especially since Bucky has come to my rescue three separate times in the last twelve hours. I hate that, at this moment, I don’t want to be anywhere without Bucky beside me keeping the monsters at bay. 

“She’s fine,” Bucky’s words are short and leave no room for anymore questions. “Thanks Sam,” he closes the door and stands at the sink to wash his hands before kneeling back down in front of me and pulling out the supplies he’ll need to stitch me up. He instructs me to look at him and sets to work cleaning my wound. “This is gonna sting but just for a minute. You ready?” 

I nod and close my eyes preparing myself. _I’ve been through worse I can get through this._ I tell myself as he starts on the stitches, and my eyes start to water from the pain of the needle but I stay as still as possible and let him work. Thankfully he’s done two minutes later and gently pressing a clean bandage over it. He leans back on his heels and gestures to my stomach. “May I?” 

Again, I nod and lift the hem of his jacket to reveal a thin cut, crusted with dried blood, running from my belly button to just above my right hip. Thankfully this one doesn’t need stitches and has already stopped bleeding, Bucky cleans it and bandages it too before standing back up to wash his hands again. “I’ll grab you a change of clothes, you can stay here tonight and in the morning I’ll take you back to your house.” He opens the door and holds it open for me.

I slowly get to my feet and walk past the bathroom mirror stopping in front to finally get a look at the damage Alex had caused. A small bandage is taped above my left eye which is darkening into a large purple bruise. My breath catches in my throat at my appearance, how am I going to explain this to people? I reach up to touch my black eye and wince at the tender skin, I hate this. I hate I let Alex into my life and because of that this is now my reality. Abused, assaulted, and no longer safe in my own home. 

“Come on, doll.” Bucky holds his hand out to me with a smile of encouragement. “You don’t need to worry about that.” 

Something snaps in me and anger rushes through my veins, I whip around to face Bucky slapping his hand away. “Don’t tell me what I need to worry about!” My hands are shaking at my sides and I glare at him. “Alex broke into my home and attacked me. He almost raped me!” I’m certain others in the building can hear me yelling at Bucky but at the moment I don’t care. I’m exhausted and angry. Mostly at Alex for everything that he did to me, but I’m angry at myself too I never should’ve told him about the baby. I should’ve just ended things with him and dealt with it on my own. 

We stand there in the bathroom staring at each other, him in shock at my outburst and me trying to calm down. I know my anger is misplaced, he’s only trying to help. I heave a sigh and cross my arms. “Just show where I can sleep,” 

“Right,” Bucky set his jaw and pushed through the door, leaving me to follow behind him. He leads me down a long hallway and stops at a door on the right. “This room is empty,” he pointed to a door across the hall. “I’ll be there if you need me.” with one last look at me he turned and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you guys think!!

Bucky leaves me standing in the hall and I groan in frustration and shame then walked through the door locking it behind me. It’s a small bare room but the bed looks soft and that was all I need at the moment. 

I unzip Bucky’s jacket and I’m about to take it off when a knock sounds that the door startling me. “Who- who is it?” I ask while I know that Alex can’t hurt me while I’m here my heart still beats a little faster.

“It’s Steve.” there’s a pause. “I have a few things for you.” 

My curiosity outweighs my fear at the sound of his voice so I zip up the jacket again and unlock the door. Steve stands on the other side of the door holding my purse in one hand and a bundle of clothes in the other. 

“Your phone’s been ringing for the last hour and Bucky wanted me to give you these.” He holds both of them out to me with a warm smile and I thank him before closing the door again. 

I dump the clothes on the bed and dig into my purse for my phone to see that my sister had called me three times and texted at least 7 times. I don’t bother reading her texts right now instead I put my phone down on the bed and and inspect the pile of clothes Steve dropped off, a pair of black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. Both are clearly made for men and I scoff at the image of Bucky going through his own clothes to find something to give to me.

I take off Bucky’s jacket and hang it on the back of a chair that sits in the corner of the room. The ripped remains of my own t shirt come off next and is thrown into the opposite corner of the room, but before I can put on the other shirt my phone begins to buzz. It's my sister again and of course she wants to FaceTime. 

I stare at the screen for a second trying to decide if I should just decline it and call her back. But she'll find out about everything eventually and we've always told each other everything, so I smile as best I can and answer the phone.

_ "Hi- oh my God!"  _ I can see that she's already lying in bed but when she sees my face she bolts upright.  _ "What happened?!" _

I heave a shuddering breath, "Um, Alex happened. We had a fight this morning and then he attacked me earlier tonight." 

She turns and shakes her girlfriend awake talking about how she's going to come and stay with me. 

"No, Sarah. Sarah! I'm ok, I promise I'm safe." 

She stops and looks back at me with the most serious look on her face I've ever seen.  _ "Did you kill him? Because you can't go to jail if it was self-defense. I know I live an hour away but I can come and help you hide the body, we'll be your alibi if we need to be." _

Gratitude spreads through my chest and I smile at her. Leave to my dear sister to offer to help hide a body, that's always been our sibling relationship. We stuck together through everything and always had each other's backs. "No I didn't kill him, but thanks for offering to help get rid of him. And I'm actually not at home right now anyway." I turn myself around showing her the bare room.

_ "Oh. Ok well where are you then? Are you at a motel or something?"  _ She squints and brings her phone closer to her face so that all I can see are her eyes and forehead, as if that would help her figure out where I am.

"I'm at the Avengers compound." A note of disbelief colours my tone. Saying it out loud to Sarah made it more real, and it was finally sinking in that I'll be sleeping in a building full of super heroes. 

_ "You're where?! You're with the Avengers? How did you manage that?" _ Sarah laughs and I start telling her about everything that happened today, starting with the pregnancy and ending with me yelling at Bucky. 

When I'm done talking both Sarah and her girlfriend, Rose, are staring at me through the phone with stunned expressions. And Rose is the one to break the silence. 

_ "I'm really sorry you went through that today. Alex is an asshole, and we're both happy that Bucky was there to help you." _ I nod thinking about everything he's done for me. 

_ "Speaking of Bucky,"  _ Sarah speaks up turning the phone towards her.  _ "It sounds like he's got a crush on you."  _ Rose nods in agreement and I gape at her words. 

"What?! No, he's just being nice and helping me. He's an Avenger! That's what he does." I protest, but my heart starts beating faster at the thought. _Could he have a crush on me? _I feel like I'm back in high school asking my friends if my crush _like _liked me and I roll my eyes at her. "Even if he did, I'm probably not going to want to date for a while after what happened today." They both nod in understanding. 

"By the way, what did you want to talk to be about? Steve said you've been calling my phone for the last hour." A blush creeps up my face when I use Steve Rogers's name so casually as if we'd been friends for years. Both Sarah and Rose grin into the phone and Sarah raises her left hand to show me a sparkling diamond ring on her ring finger. I gasp and all thoughts of earlier are chased away from my mind with excitement. "Oh my God! Rose it's beautiful! Congratulations I'm so happy for you!" My excitement wanes slightly when I think about needing a date for the wedding. 

_ “I know that look, Y/N. The wedding won’t be until next year so you’ll have plenty of time to find a date… or not. There’s no pressure for you to bring anyone at all.” _ Sarah shrugs and I shake my head at her. My very intuitive sister always knew what I was thinking, it got annoying sometimes.

“Yeah, tell that to mom,” I scoff. "Now that you're getting married I really need to step up my dating game if I'm ever gonna get her off my back."

_ “Well,”  _ she says suggestively, drawing out the word. _ “You could always bring Bucky, I bet she’d love that _ .” She winks at me and Rose nudges her in the ribs. 

I bark and unamused laugh. “Alright, I’m gonna go but thanks for the suggestion that will definitely not be taken. Give Katie a kiss for me and congrats again. I love you.”

_ “Ok honey, we love you and we’re so glad that you’re safe. If you ever need to talk or need a place to stay I’m always here for you.”  _ Sarah blows me a kiss and I thank them wave at them both before hanging up. Talking with Sarah always made me feel better and the happiness of their engagement helped to keep my fear and anxiety at bay.

I toss my phone back onto the bed and put on the t-shirt and sweatpants. Both are at least three times too big and I have to roll the cuffs up multiple times to keep from tripping on them. I tie the hem of the shirt so that I don’t look like a child wearing her dad’s t-shirt careful not to make it too tight and I glance over at the jacket hanging on the chair. 

I could just give it back to him in the morning, that would be the appropriate, normal thing to do...but I should also apologize to him for yelling at him earlier. 

That’s what I tell myself to justify standing outside his door and knocking. This has nothing to do with the fact that I feel cold without him beside me, or that I strangely miss the way his gaze seems to pierce right into my soul. 

I wait for a couple minutes outside his door with no answer so assuming he’s either asleep and just doesn’t want to talk to me I turn back to my door, but just as I reach my room again his door opens. I look down at his jacket and step forward, thrusting it into his hands.

“I wanted to give this back to you. There might be some blood on it...sorry.” Bucky looks at the jacket and back up at me, I can see the smile in his eyes but not on his face. 

“Thanks, good night Y/N.” He goes to close his door again and I jump forward with my hand out to stop him.

“Wait!” When he pauses and turns his icy blue gaze on me again and my heart rate picks up. “I, um, also wanted to apologize for earlier. That wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry. I just- there was a lot going on in my head and with everyone asking if I'm okay...I just didn’t know how to handle it-”

“I get it,” he cuts me off still watching me with those icy blue eyes. “You just went through something really scary, the last thing you need is someone telling you how to feel. I'm sorry too, I should've known better.” 

I nod and shudder at the thought of how he’s able to know how someone is feeling and what they need after a traumatic event. I take a deep breath trying to work up the courage to ask my next question.

“Can I- can I stay with you?” I ask, hoping he won't just close the door on me. He looks into my eyes and I silently plead with him, begging him to say yes, I don’t know if I’d be able to sleep otherwise, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he silently nods holding the door open for me to walk through. “Thank you.”

His room is almost exactly like the one I was set up in. The walls are bare, and a chair sits in the corner. The only difference is that the bed is bigger than mine but looks just as soft. What strikes me is the complete lack of personal items in the room and I turn to face Bucky. “Do you live here?”

He shakes his head. “No I have my own place, I just figured you’d be more comfortable here than at a stranger’s house.” He closes the door but stays where he is watching as I gingerly sit on the bed feeling the soft blanket beneath me. 

"Well I don't know if I'd call you a stranger anymore," I said looking up at him. He had his arms crossed over his chest. "I mean, you saved my life twice today. That bumps you up to at least aquaintance status." That smile I saw in his eyes earlier returns and spreads to the rest of his face as he chuckles and comes to sit on the bed beside me while still keeping a respectable distance.

"You're funny," he muses. "I like that." 

_ It sounds like he's got a crush on you.  _ Sarah's words repeat in my head and I smile to myself. "I guess that's my coping mechanism." I must be feeling bold right now because the next thing out of my mouth surprises us both. "I talked to my sister about what happened today, and she seems to think that you 'have a crush on me'." I raised hands in air quotes to show they were her words and not mine. "Is that- I mean I told her that you were just helping me, 'cause, well, you're an Avenger, it's what you do. Right?" I take a deep breath to steady myself and calm my mind that's now panicking. 

Bucky just stares at me, which isn't helping, and opens his mouth as if to say something as he processes my rambling. Finally he sighs and smiles. "So first of all: I'm not an Avenger. I'm just a cybernetically enhanced guy trying his best to live a normal life. And second of all," he pauses and chews the inside of his lip leaving me to wait in agony for his next point. "Second of all: she's not wrong." 

Those three words hit me like a freight train and knocks the wind out of me. I wasn't expecting an answer like that, I was prepared for him to shake his head, tell me anything but  _ that _ . Now I'm at a loss for words so we sit there staring at each other again waiting for the other to make the first move.

  
I briefly glance down at his lips, they look so soft and inviting and my mind goes blank except for one thought:  _ Fuck he’s hot. _ I look back up to his eyes and my brain restarts, I blink a few times and turn away so I can think clearly. “I should- uh, I should go to sleep.” I crawl further onto the bed and slip under the covers facing away from him, and after a few seconds I feel the bed dip as Bucky gets in behind me. The bed is big enough to allow us to have our own space without the chance of wither of us accidentally touching the other, and I lie there with my eyes closed willing myself to sleep but the reality of Bucky lying there so close yet so far away keeps gnawing at the back of my mind and I wonder if I’ll actually be able to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me and this story till the end! it really means a lot and I hope you keep sticking with me in the future.

I wake up the next morning with a start feeling a strange weight on my waist. I look down to see what it is and find a metal arm on me.  _ What the hell? _ I turn my head to look behind me and see Bucky asleep,  _ with his arm around me! _

I try to gently lift the arm and roll out from under it and away from him. But it’s heavier than I expect and he wakes up. “Sorry,” he mumbles pulling his arm away and yawns. “You were having a nightmare or something and that was the only way you would calm down.” 

“It’s- it’s fine.” I sit up and stretch, then look back at him and I’m struck by how handsome he is. He’s lying on the bed with his head propped up on his arm staring sleepily up at me and I’m seized by the sudden need to touch him. I reach out and lightly graze the back of his hand with my fingertips, and my face grows warm with the blush that bloom on my cheeks. 

At my touch Bucky sits up beside me, his face now inches from mine and glances down at my lips. I can feel his warmth radiating off of him and without thinking I lean forward and close the distance. His lips are so soft, softer than I could’ve imagined, and warm. They move against mine and I lose myself in the kiss. I forget everything, it’s as if a fog has descended around my brain and all that matters in this very second is the feeling of Bucky’s lips on mine.

He moves slowly, his hand going to my shoulder then gently moves to the side of my neck tilting my head up towards him. I lie back down pulling him down with me and he settles down on top of me holding most of his weight with his other arm. His tongue lightly grazes my bottom lip and I moan against him. His hand ever so slowly moves down my side until his fingers find the hem of the t-shirt then slips his hand underneath to touch the bare skin of my hip. He pauses when his fingers graze the edge of the bandage on my stomach and I freeze. The memories come flooding back and I push him off of me trying to catch my breath.

Bucky sits as far away from me as he can on the bed, slightly breathless with a look of concern on his face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have-” he sighs and looks down at his hands. 

“I- I should get going.” I mutter as I crawl out of the bed and walk to the door. I don’t actually want to leave but I can’t bring myself to turn around and face him again. So I open the door with a shaking hand and step out into the hallway. As I do a man walks by and raises his eyebrow at me with a smirk on his face. I recognize him as the man who brought us the first aid kit, he walks past me without saying anything and I wait until he’s out of sight before crossing the hall to the room I was meant to sleep in. 

My phone and purse are still sitting on the bed where I left them. I move to pick up my torn shirt from the corner.  _ I’ll throw this out later. _ I think to myself as I stuff it into my purse. Within two minutes I’ve changed back into my jeans and Bucky’s sweatpants are folded on the end of the bed. I examine myself in the mirror that hangs on the wall opposite the bed and comb my fingers through my hair. My black eye has gone down a bit and when I look down at my wrist I see that it’s also faded slightly. 

I don’t bother putting on any makeup since I don’t plan on going anywhere today. I was scheduled to work this evening but I’ll call in as soon as I get home, I’ll take a couple days of lost wages if it means that I won’t be asked about what happened. I step back out into the hall and Bucky is there waiting for me. He’s changed too, into a pair of dark jeans and simple red henley, and I can’t tear my eyes away from him. The way his jeans hug his hips and his shirt is just tight enough to show off his muscular figure without looking like he’ll accidentally rip through the fabric. 

“You ready to go?” he looks at me and gives me a warm smile. 

I try to smile back but it feels tight and I’m certain he can hear my heart race in my chest as I think about the kiss. “Yeah.” 

I follow him back through the building. Though it feels more like a maze to me now that I’m able to pay more attention to my surroundings. “I don’t remember the building being this big. It’s like a maze.” I say mostly to myself but Bucky chuckles as we walk. 

“I’ve gotten lost once or twice here before. You’ll get used to it.” 

“You say that as if I’ll be back here.” 

That earned me another chuckle. “You never know, you might want to visit at some point in the future.” I watched his shoulders rise in a shrug and I smile to myself.  _ One can only hope. _

We don’t encounter anyone else in the building and when we finally get outside the weather is beautiful. The air is still dewy but the sun is warm on my skin. I take a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of decaying leaves. Autumn truly is my favourite season for this exact reason, I feel energized by the cool breeze that wafts over my face and for a second I almost feel as if everything is right in the world. After a while I realize that I’ve just been standing there with my eyes closed and I open them to see Bucky standing by the car with a look of admiration on his face. 

_ She’s not wrong. _ His words repeat in my head and I duck my head to hide my blush as I continue towards him. His expression hasn’t changed by the time I reach him and I think to myself,  _ I'm in big trouble if he keeps looking at me like that. _

***************Bucky***************

I stand by the driver’s side door watching as Y/N basks in the mid-morning warmth. The sunlight on her skin gives her an almost ethereal glow and I’m captivated by her absolute beauty. I can see small goosebumps form on her arms from the cool breeze but she doesn’t seem to notice or mind. Her hair is highlighted with strands of gold, and if I didn’t know any better I’d think she was a goddess sent to earth to bring about the downfall of men.

When she opens her eyes, I can see a blush colour her cheeks and she lowers her head avoiding my gaze. As she moves towards the car I feel disappointment gnaw at my insides when I think about dropping her off at her house then just driving away. I want to spend more time with her, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Wanna get some breakfast?” I asks as she slides into the passenger side and closes the door.

***************Y/N***************

I’m about to say yes to having breakfast with him, I would love nothing more than to spend more time with him, but I catch my reflection in the window and pause. “I think I’d rather stay in for the next little while. At least until...you know.” I point to my face and give a sidelong glance. “Besides aren’t you getting sick of me? You’ve literally spent the last 24 hours with me.” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s not possible doll,” he winks at me and starts the car. 

As he drives we chat and even laugh. He makes feel so at ease even after the worst day of my life, and after half an hour he’s pulling up to the front of my house and turns the car off. I sit in my seat staring at my front door with no desire to walk up those steps and enter my house. Bucky lightly touches my hand and I glance over meeting his gaze.

“You want me to come with you?” 

I glance down at our hands and intertwine our fingers. The warmth from his hand seeps into my skin filling me with the courage to step out of the car. I wait until Bucky is beside me and I grasp his hand again squeezing it in an attempt to calm my nerves. 

“C’mon doll,” he gently tugs at my hand and I walk forward.

It still smells like vodka when I walk through the door but I can see that the glass has been cleaned up and, upon further inspection, the back window in my kitchen was fixed too. All traces of Alex have been removed from my house and I let out a sigh of relief, but I still feel too on edge being back here.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe here again.” I glance up at Bucky and he turns to stand in front of me placing a reassuring hand on my cheek. 

“Whatever you need to do to feel safe I will support you.” He tilts my face up and leans down to press his lips to mine in a tender kiss. “I’ll always be here to save you,” his breath is warm against my skin and I shiver at the feeling before pulling him in for another.

_ One year later _

I open the door to Sarah and Rose’s house two days before the wedding. Being Sara’s maid of honor meant I had responsibilities to take care of, but we also wanted some time to relax and catch up before the big day.

“Aunty Y/N!” A 5 year old blur comes racing towards me and nearly knocks me off your feet. Tiny arms wrap around my neck as I bend down to pick her up and give her a big hug.

“Hey there kiddo!” I press a kiss to her nose and she giggles as she places both of her hands to my cheeks and squeezes. Her brown eyes roam over my face as if committing it to memory and a confused frown replaces her smile. 

“What happened?” she pokes at the small scar above my left eye and I sigh.

“Aunty Y/N had a bit of an accident a little while ago,” I turned to watch Bucky walk up the pathway with our suitcases in hand. “There’s someone very special I want you to meet. Katie, this is my friend Bucky,” he sets the suitcases down when he reaches us and smiles at her. “He’s friends with Captain America.” I whisper to her and both Bucky and I laugh as her eyes widen in awe. 

“You know cappun ‘erica?” she excitedly reaches out towards him pulling herself out of my arms and into his. 

“I sure do,” Bucky grins at her as he holds her with one arm. “I knew him before he was captain America.”

“Wow,” she whispers and starts asking him question after question which he tries to answer to the best of his ability and after about the 10th question I take her from him and set her down. 

“Why don’t you go tell your moms that we’re here, huh?” Katie giggles and takes off running again announcing our arrival to everyone within earshot. I lace my fingers with his and pull him further into the house to introduce him to the rest of my family.

Two days later I’m in my bride’s maids dress walking down the aisle for Sarah and Rose’s wedding. I catch Bucky’s eye as I walk past him in in the pew and he has a look of pure adoration on his face. 

“Do you think you two will be next?” Sarah nudges me as I watch as Bucky talks to our mom during the reception and I laugh.

“It hasn’t even been a year yet Sarah, and he may not even want that.” I look over and she’s beaming at me.

“Don’t kid yourself, that man is absolutely in love with you.”

I look over again and he meets my eye while answering one of the many questions I’m sure our mom is asking him. A pleading look crosses his handsome features for half a second before he turns back to my mom and gives her a winning smile, but I know what he’s trying to say.  _ Help me. _ I smile and shake my head. “I should go intervene before mom decides to hook him up to a polygraph. And you should go dance with your wife.” I can hear Sarah laugh as I step away and slowly make my way to the one place I always seem to go back to.

Bucky’s hand automatically goes to the small of my back as soon as I’m at his side. “I was starting to wonder if I’d ever see you again,” I joke and turn to my mom. 

“Y/N, he’s very nice. I’m so relieved that you found someone,” a slightly strained smile crosses my face at her words. 

“He’s the best. Do you mind if I steal him? He owes me a dance.” I grab onto his arm and without waiting for a reply I pull him towards the dancefloor.

“Thank you!” he breaths out a sigh of relief and holds me to him, close enough that I can feel his heartbeat. “She’s a very intense woman.”

“Babe, you literally lived through multiple wars but you can’t handle my mother?” I laughed at the dramatic look on his face and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “But y’know, I figured it was time I saved you for once.”

I could feel his chuckle vibrate in his chest as we swayed to the music. “Doll, you’ve been saving me since the day we met.”


End file.
